To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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