Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
