I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
