Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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