I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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