Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
