ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You're like the curious george of whores
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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