But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
