More tranny stories later!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
