last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
