There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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