Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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