Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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