when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
