you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
