PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
