Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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