I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
