Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
