tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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