She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
