absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
