U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
