last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
