ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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