Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
