as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
