Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
