she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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