I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
