So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
