why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
