well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
