You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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