I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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