You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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