check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
