I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
