You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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