well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
