Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
cat food counts as protein by the way
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
