Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
