some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
