sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You've changed since you got that strap on
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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