He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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