Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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