You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
