Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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