omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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