Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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