I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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