just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I should be sponsored by Trojan
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize