your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
