it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
