But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Houston, we have a squirter
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
