its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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