Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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