Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
